QUIZ: Are You Currently Performing the Electrifying Power Ballad “Show Yourself” from the Hit Animated Film ‘Frozen II’?
Find out if you’re a daughter of Arendelle on a quest of self-discovery to the heart of a sacred glacier by answering these simple questions!
Frozen II is finally available on home video, and by now you’re doubtless familiar with “Show Yourself,” Elsa’s rapturous emotional turning point and clear successor to “Let It Go.” Or maybe you’re not, in which case I have a pretty strong sense of what your results on this quiz will be! Either way, there’s only one way to determine whether you’re searching a cavernous plateau of ice for the unseen force that has beckoned you north. Let’s find out!
The Quiz
1. At the beginning of this quiz, how much of you is trembling?
A) Every inch, but not from the cold.
B) Every inch, and it’s definitely from the cold.
C) Some portion of me, but probably because I am seated close to the track at the iconic Daytona Speedway.
D) I am not currently trembling.
2. How would you explain your emotional state as you dismount from the mythical water horse on which you just arrived?
A) It feels like I am home.
B) It feels like I am at the 7-Eleven.
C) It feels like things are not looking good for NASCAR driver Kyle Busch, who was involved in a minor wreck earlier and is now a lap behind.
D) Damp.
3. Which best describes your current hairstyle?
A) Shoulder-length, worn down, the apparent result of a magical blowout.
B) One long braid thrown casually over the shoulder, with like, swept-back bangs that somehow stay in place without the use of barrettes?
C) A ponytail pulled through the back of a NEXTEL® Cup Series trucker hat.
D) Damp.
4. Fill in the blanks as best describes you: “All my life, I’ve felt ___, but now, I feel ___.”
A) torn; certain
B) like there weren’t enough options in the 7-Eleven freezer aisle; like there are too many options in the 7-Eleven freezer aisle
C) bad for Tony Stewart that he never won as a driver; comfortable with the idea that his career should be defined not by what he didn’t accomplish, but by what he did
D) a normal level of moisture; damp
5. Okay, we’re halfway through. Are you trembling now?
A) Not any longer!
B) Um, yeah, it hasn’t been that long since you asked before.
C) I can’t hear you over the roar of the engines!
D) I wasn’t… should I be? This feels ominous.
6. In the darkness before you, points of colored light form dazzling constellations in familiar shapes. What do you see?
A) The four spirits: air, fire, water, and earth.
B) Assorted flavors of Häagen-Dazs.
C) The four spirits: Bud Light, Miller Lite, Coors Light, and Pennzoil.
D) Hm. Maybe a bunny?
7. A familiar voice calls out to you. You turn around and it’s…
A) Mother!
B) Olaf?
C) Legendary driver and broadcaster Rusty Wallace!
D) Ugh, it’s Paul. (My coworker who breeds ferrets. He’s the worst.) Oh god he saw me — no! I’m walking away! Take the hint, Paul!
8. Have you changed outfits during the course of this quiz, and if so, to what?
A) Yes; I am now wearing a glorious lavender-accented white dress with a double cape, adorned with the emblems of nature spirits, plus sensible leggings.
B) No, I am still wearing the same mock turtleneck and chinos as when I entered the 7-Eleven.
C) It was getting really hot in the Florida sun, so I lost the loosely knotted buttondown over my spaghetti-strap top and tied it around my waist above my cutoff jean shorts.
D) No — wait, actually, yes? Not sure what happened here, but I appear to have swapped socks.
9. Anything else you’d like to say?
A) AH-aah-AAAH-aaaaaaaaah!
B) The cold never bothered me anyway.
C) Just a moment of silence for Dale Earnhardt. Forever in our hearts.
D) Frozen is the one with Mandy Moore, right?
Your Results
Mostly A
Yes! You have just discovered that the mysterious voice calling you to this remote glacier is the spirit of your mother amid the cathartic revelation that your magical abilities identify you as the earthly vessel of a divine connective force of nature. Congratulations, and try to avoid freezing to death in the depths of Ahtohallan before you get the chance to smooch that cute Northuldra chick!
Mostly B
Maybe. It’s hard to tell whether you are Elsa of Arendelle or simply a nondescript convenience store patron, but either way, you don’t seem quite ready to take the leap that will give you answers to your life’s deepest questions.
Mostly C
No, probably not. You seem less interested in the origins of your supernatural powers — if you even have them — and more likely to be cheering on your favorite drivers to open the season as they undertake the 200 rubber-burning laps of stock car racing’s premier event.
Mostly D
No way! Whatever is going on with you, it certainly doesn’t involve crossing the Dark Sea en route to a mystical encounter with the truth of your lineage beneath an ancient river of ice.
Thanks for playing! And on the off chance you’ve just reached the conclusion that you were not, in fact, performing the electrifying power ballad “Show Yourself”… well, you will be now. Enjoy!
